What No One Tells You About the Post-Wedding Blues

The happiest day of your life is over. Your bouquet has wilted, your dress is stored away, and the final deposit has been paid. The wedding you've spent months planning is now behind you, but there's a strange sadness that's started creeping in. Welcome to the phase no one prepares you for: the post-wedding blues.

"Post-wedding blues describe the sense of letdown or sadness that some people feel after the excitement of their wedding has passed," neuropsychologist Dr. Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, says. And unfortunately, it's an experience that's all too common.

After all the anticipation and excitement, it's only natural to feel a bit off once the wedding ends and life returns to normal. Work or school starts back up again, and time passes as if you didn't just drop your entire life's savings on a one-night occasion.

But the emotional lows many newlyweds experience after their wedding isn't something to make light of. Some people report feeling sad, anxious, and even depressed. Below, Dr. Hafeez and mental health therapist Lauren Auer, LCPC, share more on how you can combat the post-wedding blues.

Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist and founder of Comprehend the Mind.

Lauren Auer, LCPC, is a mental health expert and therapist at Steadfast Counseling.

The post-wedding blues describe the sadness that may come when the celebration is officially over. "It's the emotional low some individuals or couples experience after their wedding," Auer says. Because the period leading up to a wedding is typically filled with excitement and anticipation, the period after the wedding can hit you hard. "Once the wedding is over, the emotional high may fade," Auer adds.

One reason why you may experience the post-wedding blues is because you have to shift back to routine, Dr. Hafeez says. You're no longer on your honeymoon in Greece or wine tasting in Italy, and the entire honeymoon and wedding feels like a fever dream. "The contrast between the wedding and honeymoon's temporary escape from daily routines and the return to normal life can make everyday activities less fulfilling," Dr. Hafeez says.

Another reason why you may experience the post-wedding blues is because your wedding was simply everything you imagined it to be and more. You celebrated love, danced the night away with your closest family and friends, and experienced a happiness you had never experienced before. You may wonder if you'll ever be able to feel that kind of happiness again.

On the other hand, the post-wedding blues can hit if your wedding wasn't what you wanted. "Sometimes couples have high expectations for their wedding day, and when reality doesn't match up — whether due to logistical hiccups, interpersonal conflicts, or even weather issues — it can lead to feelings of disappointment or regret," Auer says.

Plus, when the wedding is over, that's most often when the financial stress kicks in, Auer adds. "The financial burden can lead to regret, especially if the couple feels that they spent beyond their means or prioritized things that, in hindsight, seem less important."

As you and your partner transition into married life, you may have a hard time adjusting to this new relationship dynamic. For this reason, Auer suggests establishing new rituals with your partner. "This could be as simple as having morning coffee together, a weekly date night, or a regular check-in to discuss your feelings and goals." Not only can this give you and your partner something to look forward to again, but it can keep your relationship feeling fresh and fun.

You can also set new goals together, which will help you find purpose now that the wedding planning is over. "Channel your energy into shared projects or hobbies that excite both of you, such as redecorating a part of your home or learning a new skill together," Dr. Hafeez says. You could even start planning your one-year anniversary trip.

Most importantly though, understand that the post-wedding blues are a common experience that many couples face. Acknowledge the feeling and know that by letting yourself feel sad, it will help you in your recovery. However, if the sadness persists and starts to affect your relationship with yourself or your partner, seeking a mental health therapist can also be a healthy option.

Ultimately, your wedding is just one event in your life that will feel like a milestone. Trust that there will be plenty more celebrations ahead.

Taylor Andrews is a Balance editor at PS who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more.